The Plight before Christmas: Weisenburger

THE PLIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

‘Tis the month before Christmas and all through the house,
Our two teens leave gift lists for me and my spouse.

They scribble and write, compose and compare,
In hopes that St. Nick has some big bucks to spare!

But Dad with his wallet and I with my purse,
Realize things have taken a turn for the worse.
Their lists once contained things that we could afford
But as they have grown, so the prices have soared!

Tinker toys and legos have all been replaced,
And items like play doh are simply erased.
Where once there was Elmo, and Big Bird and Pooh,
There’s now a cell phone, and an ipod too.

Gone are the days of toy cars and doll beds,
When visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
Now they dream of two laptops (one’s hers; one’s his)
And something called a jump drive-- who knows what that is?!

It’s CDs, and sweaters, and watches and rings,
Computer and Play Station Games of all things.
A DVD burner will do just the trick,
Do they think money grows on trees for St. Nick??

More rapid than reindeer the items ring up,
We’ll have to get second and third jobs to keep up!
The deadlines draw nearer, the panic sets in,
I won’t get it all done! Where do I begin?!

Away to the bank I will fly like a flash,
To get an infusion of much-needed cash.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a bottom line that’s already too bottom-near.

There’s a twitch in my eye and an ache in my head,
Will my checkbook emerge alive or dead?
Which things do I get, for whom and how many?
Excess cash? I sure don’t have any!

So I think for a minute, and then start to smile--
The answer’s been with me, there all the while.

I take a deep breath and I slow myself down;
I cancel more plans to go into town.

Then I gather my children and with hugs and a kiss,
I remind them it’s not about presents and lists.

It’s about friends and family, and laughter and love,
And the blessings we’re given from God up above.

No matter what’s wished for or what gifts are sought,
Christmas is not about things that we’ve bought.

In the midst of the frenzy and the lure of the mall,
We shouldn’t forget….the greatest Gift of all.

So our presents get pared down to just two or three,
We’ll wrap them with love and place them under the tree.

And then I’ll exclaim ‘ere I turn in for the night,

“Happy Christmas to all, and….. may we all get it right!”



Copyright ©2008 Mary Beth Weisenburger All Rights Reserved.

You might be a parent of a teenager...

YOU MIGHT BE THE PARENT OF A TEENAGER IF…

Though I have only been living with teenagers for three years and am in no way an expert on adolescents, I have learned a thing or two about the metamorphosis from innocent tween to full-blown teen status. It can be a subtle shift, a change that sneaks up on you without advance notice. But there are some clear warning signs that signal you are now living with a teen. As a public service, I am offering the following easy assessment tool for any parent to use if for some reason you are not sure you have become the parent of a genuine, bona fide teenager.
You might be the parent of a teenager…

…If you spend more money every month on groceries, mainly consisting of pop-tarts, frozen pizza, ramen noodles, Doritos and chicken pot pies, than the Gross National Product of several third world countries;
…If you attempt to open the door to your child’s room and your entry is blocked by a mountain of wet bath towels;
…If you have suddenly lost all ability to make sense, your IQ has dropped dramatically and at times your attempts at civil conversation are considered so lame that you deserve only an eye roll in response.
You might be the parent of a teenager if you have to fight for time on your own computer.

You might be the parent of a teenager if your makeup, hair brushes and hair spray regularly disappears. Even if you only have sons.

You might be the parent of a teenager if your car’s gas tank is perpetually on empty, and can probably drive itself to the gym, the school and the pizza place on command.

If you have recently purchased any electronic item that starts with a lower case “i”, had to ask someone to explain what the initials BRB, LOL and TTYL mean; bought 3 pairs of tennis shoes in 3 different sizes in one year for the same child; and you hear a “cha-ching” sound in your head and automatically reach for your wallet whenever they approach, you might be the parent of a teenager.

You might be the parent of a teenager if you can’t get your kids to go to bed at night or get up in the morning; the decibel level for simple questions such as “Do we have any milk?” rivals that of the landing strip at O’Hare airport; and you have often chosen to completely discard an item of clothing that has resided in the dark, dingy corners of a gym bag for far too long rather than let it contaminate an entire load of wash.

This is not an all-inclusive list, of course. I have heard other descriptions that include things like body jewelry and tattoos. But, if you feel compelled to cut out this article and hang it on your refrigerator door, amidst Zits cartoons, orthodontist appointment cards and the outrageous car insurance bill, well, congratulations my friend. You truly are the parent of a teenager.

Mary Beth Weisenburger lives in Putnam County with her husband and two authentic, full-blown teenagers.

Ken Davis: Grandparents

"I have granddaughters. When they enter the room, they run straight to me. They fly through the air, on angel wings, on fairy wings. I scoop them up and they whisper in my ear "I love you Grandpa".

I have 2 demon possessed Grandsons. They do not fly through the air, they do not slow down, they don't leave the ground. 65 miles per hour - they put their head down. "What's wrong?" they ask. "Grandpa has fallen and can't get up". There is nothing so painful as being greeted by your grandsons.

Grandchildren attack without warning - and I love every minute of it."

Ken Davis, Comedian - Lighten Up & Live

Tenth Avenue: A new Deck the Halls

Adam Carolla's Occupy Wall Street Rant

I'm not familiar with this guy. But I heard a snippet of his rant on Dori Monson today, complete with beep, beep, beep & agreed deeply with his points. We are raising and living with a self entitled environment. And it's making us weak as a nation, as a society, as humans.

Song of the Day: All I Want - Chapman

Hedy Lamarr: Genius

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/books/2011/11/richard_rhodes_hedy_s_folly_reviewed_what_was_the_source_of_hedy_lamarr_s_inventive_genius_.html