All You Need is Love: part 1 & 2

I love it when Pastor David says these words:

"Okay, I'm just going to offend people. Just putting it out there".

Because he usually delivers a pretty, to the point, get over yourself message. With grace and mercy, but "you need to really here this" deliverance.

The series we're in right now is "All you need is Love". While most messages on Easter Day would have been about the crucifixion, Pastor David gave it a new twist. The ultimate Love was Christ's CHOICE to endure torture and horrific death for you and me. Why? Because love is not a feeling, it's a choice and it needed to be accomplished, it was God's promise to us for eternal salvation and Christ chose to love us, above our human failings and sinful nature.

Along with that choice, comes consequence. When love dies, a relationship ends, it's often because someone made a choice - possibly NOT to love. To not choose to confirm the relationship, to not build the relationship up but otherwise delve into possibly selfish natures and harm the relationship. The consequence of our human choice to not love is a rendering of whatever relationship that is. Sometimes we have to choose to love others, even through our inner ugliness to their outward ugliness. I am paraphrasing the sermon into where it hit me (oh and it hit me).

Last Sunday the message extended again to choice. And he got to the offensive part. (paraphrase) "Husbands, Fathers, I'm speaking to you directly because mostly this is a male issue. Just because you are providing financially for your family does not mean you are loving them. They need your time. YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE MONEY - YOU CAN NOT MAKE MORE TIME!" "Why do we spend our time watching a reality TV show on how to be the perfect family instead of spending our time making our own the perfect family? We spend our time watching a show about ultimate friendship, yet we don't reach out to those around us and MAKE ultimate friendships".

Sometimes as humans we just need a good thwack on the head to see the obvious! He really got to our hearts. Your kids need YOU. People need people. Families need the PEOPLE in it! The Church - is the PEOPLE. Not the building. All nice points.

He relayed a recent story of his college age son asking him to come out and see his new art of cutting a Bonsai tree. Pastor David admitted he grumbled about it, it was the end of the day, he was tired.. plodding out into the dark night to watch his son cut this tree up. But the relevance that his college age son still wanted his father's attention to see something he was learning and accomplishing. As I'm typing this I have the revelation of what an accomplishment as a father to still have his son's affection at that age - and the son's continued desire for his father's participation in his life.

Pastor David "turn off the tv, turn off the iPod, turn off the radio, stop the scrapbooking, turn off the computer - whatever it is that you're doing - and give them your undivided attention and time." In our stress, time driven world, we are so busy trying to achieve and be that we forget these simple truths. When Jesus was asked what the most important commandments were, He answered:

1) Love God above all
2) Love your neighbor as yourself

and THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE. Of all the things God could have chosen for His creation - LOVE. Wow. Not legalism, not judgment, not condemnation, not being right, not being rich, not having the right car, the right house, the right clothes, the right education (they may have a place, yes). But love - choose to love & choose to live with others. Not around others.

Driving home Matt asked me if I felt conviction. Hell yes (yes, I did say Hell yes). Because Hell keeps me from connecting to my own kids who are just down the hall from me as I struggle through my own internal issues of dealing with adult life. People scare me. Personally this is a big issue for me. I am a loner and I like it that way because people hurt and wound & I don't recover quickly. I LOVE technology! Email & texting - wonderful! And I've fallen into the black hole of not having the time to talk to anyone. Other then those I have to see face to face. I even email my boss from my office next door (because that 20 step walk is SO far!) The enemy wins by dissecting us and diverting us and destroying our unity. Where two or more are gathered, there so is The Lord! We are powerful together! Great good has come out of technology but it has also alienated us from those we love to a depth we are wandering alone disconnected.

And while we do, each generation grows up around us, even though they need the older generations to succeed! To win the fight! To march on through life's adventure and turmoil. Instead, I found myself blind to the fact, one day I will watch their back walk away and wish... I had more time.




(if you'd like to hear the message, go to this link)

http://mcaweb.org/index.php?s=rs&nid=103097

Parental Revelation continued...

Last night I stumbled upon a video of Ryan in 2005. Matt & I were at the pool with Ryan, McKenna and Kayla. As I was watching the video, I was blown away by how little Ryan was. He was just a baby. Still had that adorable baby face, cheeks, talked with that sweet, inquisitive voice. He had just turned 4 a couple months before. He was in the kids pool with his towel, which was totally soaked. Matt was asking him if he'd wrestled a snake. Ryan was tickled at the thought it was a snake. You can just see his wide eyed excitement and brain working it all out as he tried to lift this huge, wet, heavy towel out of the water, wring it out & drag it to the side of the pool.

My eyes then swelled with tears. Because all I remember thinking is how angry I was at him because I had told him not to put the towel in the water. I was too concerned about him not having a towel to dry off with, the hassle of having to get in the car to drive the short distance to our apartment, the fact he would want a towel and then be upset that no one else would give him theirs. I looked at him, remembering what a handful he was at that age. Running into the parking lots without thought, constantly moving moving moving... pushing, inquiring, testing. Going through the divorce and being a single parent for a long time, I remember being tired, worn out and full of frustration in trying to quell this little bundle of pure boy energy.

I truly wished last night I could go back 5 years and do it differently. Hand out more love, patience and interest in where and what he needed to explore. Join him in his pure delight at the wet towel and the "snake" he wanted to show Matt.

My dad once told me to live a life on no regret. To make decisions that don't have consequences that you can't live with. I've thought about that often and have found myself at times living moments of regret. Sometimes regret is simply consequence of living life and learning the hard way.

I think we get so caught up in our current race we really forget to cherish the age of our children now. Even video from last Christmas, McKenna looks much younger then today. I feel time slipping away and thought this morning, I need to really try and make the most of every day with the kids from this point out. I do wish I could recapture some of Ryan's toddler years, not full of the pain & difficulty of divorce. I did not get to enjoy it very much. I wish I had been a better mom. If there is any period where I've fallen short for both kids, it's been the past 5 years as I've tried to learn to parent 5 kids, blend a family, obtain stability in life, heal the wounds of all of us and establish some order and family. This is very difficult for me to admit because being a great mom and parent is the one thing I wanted to be more than anything and to know I could have done it better, could have not failed at one simple thing - time and love and patience, at times is painful to look at.

I guess that is probably part of the constant generational change, as we stretch and grow in different or the same ways as our parents - our kids will see our failures and attempt to do it differently. In part they will succeed, in part they will maintain the same struggles - at some point in the future, will a generation do it perfectly? ;) Only in Heaven I believe.