The driver of tomorrow is not thinking Green...

The driver of tomorrow is not thinking Green...
He's thinking Classic. (click on photo)


Jun 26, 2010

The New Marriage Proposal

Will you marry me?

Why Tom, this is wonderful!

It is? So you’re saying yes?!

Well, under the right circumstances, I think we can come to a mutual agreement.

Uh, circumstances – mutual agreement – what are you saying?

Well, for one, which partner will have a controlling interest in this proposed marriage?

What? You know, 50-50.

Laughter… 50-50, hehe. What about 30/70, in my favor and I let you have a night out with the guys once a month!

Wait a minute! I’m not going any less than 60/40 and you have to change the oil in your own car.

Uh, well, if I give you 45/55, will you agree to back rubs every night…and no limits on my shopping?

You’ve got to be crazy! Oh, I got it. Let’s make it 55/45 and you promise no visits from your mother..!

Mommy Rhapsody

Mommy Rhapsody to one of my all time favorites - Bohemian Rhapsody! Rock on moms!

Mommy Rhapsody from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

The Dad Life Video

Hilarious Video! Definitely Matt and I see Jim Smith in here too, right down to the twin girls in the back seat.

Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Jun 24, 2010

Sex Offenders & Social Networking Dangers & kids

All I have to say, is one child molested or lured in to meeting w/an offender is one too many. This article kind of alludes to the responsibility of a teenager to not go there (during a time when hormones & emotions are raging through their brain, a lot of teens are lonely, abandoned, not cared for, looking to fill some gap with their undeveloped brain, lacking the ability for logical thought)and that 100 cases isn't that bad. I don't agree with that illusion. However, there is good information re:sex offenders here so I'm including the entire article.

by Anne Collier and Larry Magid

There has been a flurry of media coverage of North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper's announcement that MySpace had found more than 29,000 registered sex offenders' profiles on its site. As shocking as this news may seem, parents of teen social networkers deserve some perspective.

Finding and expelling sexual predators from social Web sites - something MySpace says it now does routinely - is a good thing. Other social sites are similarly cooperating with law enforcement. But this announcement from North Carolina Attorney General oy Cooper (see General Cooper's "Protecting Children from MySpace," a link under "What's New" on his page) was only possible because MySpace took the initiative to develop a law-enforcement tool the federal government called for in a recently passed law but failed to create: a national sex offender database that MySpace then donated to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children for broader use.

* Beyond the Web. Sex offenders aren't just in social-networking sites online. They're in chatrooms and newsgroups, on discussion boards and file-sharing networks. They've been on the Internet since before there was a World Wide Web, long before social networking took off. Now social sites are helping to expose their online activities.

* The numbers. Let's put the 29,000 profiles in context: More will probably be found, but there are more than 190 million profiles on MySpace at the moment. Now let's move from the Net to "real life." There are 602,000 registered sex offenders in the United States. That's just registered ones - those who've been caught and convicted. The vast majority of child molesters are not strangers whom children meet online. Very, very few are strangers in real life even: According to the California Department of Justice, “90% of child victims know their offender, with almost half of the offenders being a family member. Of sexual assaults against people age 12 and up, approximately 80% of the victims know the offender."

* Actual cases. Last spring I was looking for a solid figure for sexual exploitation of minors in social-networking sites after hearing Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal's reference to "the towering danger of sexual predators" (see "Predators vs. cyberbullies"). General Cooper's office told me there were approximately 100 known cases in MySpace in 2005, but that number was based not on government statistics but a Lexis-Nexis search of news reports. That's 100 cases too many, but an extremely small proportion of the 12 million teens who use such sites, and it pales compared to the number of kids molested by acquaintances and family members.

* No kidnappings. In all those cases, a teenager willingly got together with someone he or she met online and, contrary to what many people think, the kids often knew what they were getting into and, in every known case, went to meet the offenders themselves. This doesn't excuse these crimes in any way, but parents need to understand how this victimization works and what signs to look for….

* Who's actually victimized. At a recent hearing on Capitol Hill, David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center, gave a profile of what he described as a fairly typical victim of online predation: "Jenna" was 13 and "from a divorced family, frequented sex-oriented chatrooms, had the screenname 'Evilgirl.' There she met a guy who, after a number of conversations admitted he was 45. He flattered her, sent her gifts, jewelry. They talked about intimate things. And eventually he drove across several states to meet her for sex on several occasions in motel rooms. When he was arrested, in her company, she was reluctant to cooperate with law enforcement authorities" (see the full story). "Jenna" is not a typical teen or social networker; she's a typical victim of online predation, a high-risk teen offline, representing somewhere between 2% and 5% of online teens, Dr. Finkelhor indicated in a recent briefing on Capitol Hill.

* Social networking's very individual. Whether it's a positive or negative experience depends on who uses it. The vast majority of our online kids are for the most part using social sites to socialize with their friends at school. Some are decorating their pages and learning graphic design, writing software code, playing with digital photos, producing and editing video, and so on, all in a very collective way. Unfortunately, some teens are seeking the wrong kind of validation online for destructive behaviors such as eating disorders, cutting, and substance abuse. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline told us over a year ago that MySpace was its No. 1 source of referrals, so teens are also getting help in MySpace for depression, domestic violence, loneliness, and substance abuse, as well as suicidal thinking, through the work of 120 crisis centers nationwide whose work the Lifeline coordinates.

* Cyberbullying affects a lot more teens. So far two nationwide surveys in the US have found that about one-third of online teens in this country have been victimized by cyberbullying (one in Canada put the figure at about two-thirds for Canadian kids!). That's at least 8 million young people in the US (this too in "Predators vs. cyberbullies"). This peer harassment needs to be addressed, which will certainly happen at home and in school, as we teach our kids to be good friends and "citizens" online as well as off.

So let's keep these scary predator announcements in perspective. We want parents to have the facts so they can remain calm. When parents (and officials) overreact and start banning things, kids just go underground - as they have since the beginning of time. Only now they can do so online too - on hundreds of social networking sites, in IM, on phones and all sorts of other devices and at proliferating connection points in parks, libraries, cafes, and at friends' houses.

Vote for Dilling!

A lifetime friend of Kayla's grandparents and her excellent English teacher at Woodinville High last year, he has submitted this video to Oprah with an idea for a new talk show. Watch & vote for Colby Dilling!

Jun 22, 2010

Keep your home a sanctuary for your family.

It's a battle for your attention

In our media-driven culture we are being bombarded daily with messages of contradicting values. Men and women of faith are inundated with the theme of never being enough in the workplace or at home, as spouses or as parents. The presentation of "reality" is being warped and skewed at an alarming rate.

What about your children? Television, films and video games offer gratuitous violence; teen programs with provocative clothes and situations; pop-ups on the Web ... they're all fighting against the virtues and values you hold most dear and strive to instill in your kids.

Fortunately there are great, God-honoring alternatives worthy of your family's attention. For over 20 years, Focus on the Family® has been publishing magazines that bring trusted, age-appropriate entertainment, insight and issues right into your home--where influence begins and thrives. It's more important than ever that we be discerning of our media selections. You can be confident that Focus' magazines provide positive and informed fuel for the heart and mind. Generations of readers know the true value of these magazines, so check out the impact these good choices have made in their lives.

Jun 16, 2010

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Slow Fade

Every time I hear this song I get goosebumps. We live in this visually, sexualized environment, which we've been groomed for desensitization ( a.To make (an individual) nonreactive or insensitive to an antigen b.To make emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks) to the effects of stimuli on our brains and our kids brains from very early ages. The true importance of what we allow in to our psyche, via auditory, visually or kinetically has been lost. We've adopted the lie of "educate your children" by exposure that we're simply handing ourselves & them over to The Slow Fade.

-Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away.

People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade.

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

(sung by a child)

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see.

Jun 14, 2010

Types of Depression UNIQUE TO WOMEN

In addition to the major types of depression that affect men and women, women also suffer from unique types of depression due to their special physiology and hormones. Estrogen, the “female sex hormone,” affects more than 300 functions in a woman’s body including regulating menstrual cycles, protecting the heart and maintaining strong bones. The fluctuating levels of estrogen during menstrual cycles, pregnancy and menopause may impact mood and, in severe cases, trigger depressive episodes.

Unfortunately, these types of depressive episodes in women and girls often are blamed on “being moody,” “that time of the month,” or “the change” and go untreated. It is time to get beyond stereotypes that prevent women from getting medical help:

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can be treated or prevented — there is no reason why women need to suffer so needlessly and frequently.
More than half of the women suffering from postpartum depression will experience it again with the birth of another child. It is critical to identify this danger and treat it early.
Rates of suicide for women are highest during the perimenopausal years; these are tragically shortened lives, considering women now live a third of their lives after menopause.
Recent research shows that women’s biology differs from men’s in many more ways than previously thought and these physical differences (such as different levels of estrogen, serotonin, cortisol and melatonin) are beginning to provide clues to why women are so much more susceptible to depression as well as a special type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder
Stress plays a major role in depression, and it may be that women and men respond to stress differently — while women are more likely to suffer from “emotional ailments” such as depression, anxiety attacks and eating disorders, men are much more likely to act out aggressively and abuse drugs and alcohol.
Women’s fluctuating hormone levels during menstrual cycles, after childbirth, and during menopause contribute to forms of depression unique to women including Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Postpartum Depression, and Perimenopausal Depression. The good news is that research is helping us to understand the biological factors for depression in women and identify ways to treat and prevent it. A woman may suffer from depression at any point during her life. Like depression in men, the underlying cause of depression in women is a combination of changes in brain chemistry, stress, trauma and genetics.
The major types of treatment for depression are the same for women and men. Women who have suffered sexual traumas (such as rape and incest) may want to work with a therapist who has training and expertise in this area.

In addition, a woman’s unique biology may predispose her to unique forms of depression not found in men.

The Power of Thought

One of the most common types of skills learned in psychotherapy today focuses on our thinking. Unbeknownst to many of us, we often engage in internal conversations with ourselves throughout the day. Unless we’re trained to examine these conversations, however, many of us don’t even realize we’re having them! For instance, imagine looking in the mirror at yourself. What’s the first thing you think when you look at yourself? That thought is a part of our internal conversation.

Having these kinds of conversations with yourself is perfectly normal and in fact, everybody does it. Where we mess up in our lives is when we let these conversations take on a life of their own. If we answer ourselves in the above example with something like, “I’m fat and ugly and nobody loves me,” that’s an example of “stinkin’ thinkin’.” Our thoughts have taken on an unhealthy attitude, one that is working against us instead of for us. Psychologists would call these thoughts “irrational,” because they have little or no basis in reality. For instance, the reality is that most everyone is loved by someone (even if they’re no longer with us), and that a lot of our beauty springs from inside us — our personality.

It is exactly these kinds of thoughts that you can learn to identify as you go through your day. Often times it will be helpful to keep a little journal of the thoughts, writing down the day and time you had it, the thought itself, and the type of irrational thought — or stinkin’ thinkin’ — from the list below. As you learn to better identify them, you can then learn how to start answering them back with rational arguments. In this manner, you can work to turn your internal conversation back to being a positive in your life, instead of a running negative commentary.

1. All-or-nothing thinking – You see things in black-or-white categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure. When a young woman on a diet ate a spoonful of ice cream, she told herself, “I’ve blown my diet completely.” This thought upset her so much that she gobbled down an entire quart of ice cream.

2. Overgeneralization – You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as “always” or “never” when you think about it. A depressed salesman became terribly upset when he noticed bird dung on the window of his car. He told himself, “Just my luck! Birds are always crapping on my car!”

3. Mental Filter – You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your vision of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of water. Example: You receive many positive comments about your presentation to a group of associates at work, but one of them says something mildly critical. You obsess about his reaction for days and ignore all the positive feedback.

4. Discounting the positive – You reject positive experiences by insisting that they “don’t count.” If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn’t good enough or that anyone could have done as well. Discounting the positives takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.

5. Jumping to conclusions – You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.

Mind Reading : Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you.

Fortune-telling : You predict that things will turn out badly. Before a test you may tell yourself, “I’m really going to blow it. What if I flunk?” If you’re depressed you may tell yourself, “I’ll never get better.”

6. Magnification – You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you minimize the importance of your desirable qualities. This is also called the “binocular trick.”

7. Emotional Reasoning – You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel terrified about going on airplanes. It must be very dangerous to fly.” Or, “I feel guilty. I must be a rotten person.” Or, “I feel angry. This proves that I’m being treated unfairly.” Or, “I feel so inferior. This means I’m a second rate person.” Or, “I feel hopeless. I must really be hopeless.”

8. “Should” statements – You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, “I shouldn’t have made so many mistakes.” This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days. “Musts,” “oughts” and “have tos” are similar offenders.

“Should statements” that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general, lead to anger and frustration: “He shouldn’t be so stubborn and argumentative!”

Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if they were delinquents who had to be punished before they could be expected to do anything. “I shouldn’t eat that doughnut.” This usually doesn’t work because all these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just the opposite. Dr. Albert Ellis has called this ” must erbation.” I call it the “shouldy” approach to life.

9. Labeling – Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” You might also label yourself “a fool” or “a failure” or “a jerk.” Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as what you do. Human beings exist, but “fools,” “losers” and “jerks” do not. These labels are just useless abstractions that lead to anger, anxiety, frustration and low self-esteem.

You may also label others. When someone does something that rubs you the wrong way, you may tell yourself: “He’s an S.O.B.” Then you feel that the problem is with that person’s “character” or “essence” instead of with their thinking or behavior. You see them as totally bad. This makes you feel hostile and hopeless about improving things and leaves very little room for constructive communication.

10. Personalization and Blame - Personalization comes when you hold yourself personally responsible for an event that isn’t entirely under your control. When a woman received a note that her child was having difficulty in school, she told herself, “This shows what a bad mother I am,” instead of trying to pinpoint the cause of the problem so that she could be helpful to her child. When another woman’s husband beat her, she told herself, “If only I was better in bed, he wouldn’t beat me.” Personalization leads to guilt, shame and feelings of inadequacy.

Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their circumstances for their problems, and they overlook ways they might be contributing to the problem: “The reason my marriage is so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable.” Blame usually doesn’t work very well because other people will resent being scapegoated and they will just toss the blame right back in your lap. It’s like the game of hot potato–no one wants to get stuck with it.

Parts of this article were exercepted from the book, “The Feeling Good Handbook” by David D. Burns, M.D. © 1989.

Jun 8, 2010

The Impact of Fathers: Dr. Bill Maier

"A girl's view of men is shaped primarily by her father. Which is why it's so critical for dad's to be positive examples to their daughters."

Author & therapist Norm Wright:

"That little girl, whether we know it or not, is looking at us and she is learning what all men are like. She learns how to respond to a man, even in flirting. She comes in and says "Daddy, look at my new dress" and if he says "mm, that's nice" and doesn't pay attention to her, she begins to feel "Is something wrong with me?".

But if he puts down his paper and says "Boy, you're really looking nice. I really like that dress." That gives her the sense "My daddy loves me".

Dr. Bill Maier:

Without dad's positive leadership, affirmation & encouragement, daughters are often left with a lifelong yearning for love & acceptance. In fact, the more a father is involved in his daughter's life, the less likely she is to seek out inappropriate male attention as she grows older."

For more on fatherhood, visit

Fear of Lightening: Dr. Bob Maier

"Most adults love to sit & watch a good thunderstorm. But to a toddler it can be a frightening experience. Many kids are naturally afraid of thunder because it sounds so dangerous & powerful. Telling them there's nothing to worry about doesn't seem to do much to calm their fears. Instead, try finding a few children's books about storms and encourage them to talk about their fears. Ask them "What are you afraid might happen when it thunders". You might be surprised at their answer. They could say something like "What if lightening gets in our house" or "I'm scared of thunder falling on our roof". This gives YOU a chance to explain what thunder is and why lightening won't hurt them if they stay indoors. Just talking about it often makes things better.

Kids fears aren't always rational - but to them they are always real."

Focus on the Family, Dr. Bill Maier -

Free Blog Counter