The driver of tomorrow is not thinking Green...

The driver of tomorrow is not thinking Green...
He's thinking Classic. (click on photo)


Nov 11, 2011

Why children don't tell

This was my response to Dave Ross making a direct connection to sexually abused kids and it pointing to something wrong at home, because kids don't go & tell their parents what's going on.

The guy was preying on children at an age that weren't quite aware of sexuality and what that all entails. If you have any knowledge of sexual predator behavior, they are very sly. This guy was typical. Centered himself with kids, parents automatically "trusted" him with their kids because of the U, the program, his fame. Abuse, sexual abuse especially, is often connected with shame. These boys were at an age where either they didn't have a clue about sexuality yet (7/8) or they were JUST entering the age of perhaps, someone might have started to explain (10 years old, just entering that realm). The two eye witness sexual episodes were with 10 year old. The older kids seemed to have more of an idea what he was doing and they did extricate themselves from him and the program. I think he picked this age group because of their non understanding of what that was all about. Kids, from all sorts of homes, keep stuff from their parents. Especially if they feel like they've done something wrong. Sexual abuse victims live with shame their entire lives sometimes and often hide the event(s) for years. Good parents or not, abuse happens.

However Dave, I do agree with you that way too many fathers are abandoning their children & their responsibilities. This program was for at risk kids and probably, several sons of single mothers, who put them in this very prestigious program with well known famous coaches because they recognized their sons needed a male figure - and they probably felt lucky, blessed to have their son there. However it's wrong to make an absolute statement that any child who doesn't come forward doesn't have something solid at home. Look at the Catholic church - how many of those boys hid what was happening and probably had very devout fathers at home.

This story sickens me, not only because of the vileness of what happened, but because what does it do for all the kids out there that do have a need? How does a parent feel safe enough to send their kid to any program, religious, not religious and know their kid is okay? How many years did the church cover up their story? And look how many years this guy was allowed to continue harming & having contact with kids - both situation because of power. Unfortunately as a parent, it strips your ability to trust anyone that might be nice to your kid and as an adult, makes you shy away from volunteering in a program and/or being nice to a kid.

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