Don't drink and type....

I'm breaking my own rule tonight. I am really in a foul mood. I try to bring an uplifting, helpful "conduit" atmosphere to my blog but you know, tonight, I'm just plain sick and tired of being responsible.

McKenna and I had a pretty large blow up this afternoon, upon picking her up from Bellevue Symphony Camp. This was what I thought was going to be a pretty nice, bonding time and you know, she was simply ready for a fight. She had decided that it was too tough (after 6 hours of camp) and didn't want to try out in 2 months for the Symphony.

Fine, this blog is not about that. The argument that ensued was about her incredibly smart and disrespectful mouth. Her appalling attitude (where did that girl come from?). The boiled down fact that while we are going through some pretty serious medical issues with her right now, her other parent is obviously absent.

The reality that in our family (and many, many out in the world), there are numerous parents that have chosen the easy path of bowing out of their parental responsibilities. The fact that there are children paying the emotional price of that and a responsible parent (and grandparents) who are picking up the slack on all sides of the parenting pathway.

And yes, tonight - it's really gotten to me. I do well at never say anything negative about the father to the kids. But the older they get and being the target of all of their negative feelings & missing the other parent - well sometimes it really wears me down and I am plain sick of those that choose irresponsibility - leaving the hard work and hard years to other people. (yes, I do realize the rewards, I'm venting tonight)

I told McKenna tonight during our heated "debate' - "it's not about cleaning your room. It's about being a responsible person so 4 years from now you are able to simply take care of yourself. Not expecting others to take care of you, not taking care of others but able to be a responsible adult." Is that too much to ask?

I love my kids. They say that girls are more difficult during the teen years, while boys are more difficult during the younger years. So is it my experience as the eldest that blesses me with a teen girl and a young boy at the same time?

Pray for me friends - because I cringe as I fear that she is too much an apple off of my tree and "rewards" as a parent sometimes are just - paybacks. Tonight, the box under the bridge and a soup kitchen sounds mighty appealing. And I mean this with all the sarcastic attitude I can muster.