Song of the Day

Whew - when God speaks, He speaks. I hope this touches someone today. In the sunshine, I feel His humbling love and presence. Why am I so blessed to be on His mind today? What have I ever done to acquire such affirmation?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1JBSQMkQEo&NR=1


Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Lead Me so I can Lead Them

Yesterday I posted on my Facebook how hard it is to walk against the world. Especially in parenting. I've mused recently how interesting it is to be a parent with moral standards, actively involved in your children's lives, responsible, not abandoning them, doing the hard time, loving them, teaching them, guiding them - and yet, feel the disapproval of so many. Huh?

As a mother of a daughter who is a year younger than her peers, it's been difficult to encourage her to remain her age when she's so eager to jump ahead. Yet really, regardless the age, we have a household that doesn't jump on every new fangled hip jive and we encourage our children to hold back, view from a distance and really see if it's worth all the hoopla and energy marketing and society would like you to invest in. We've been rid of TV or cable for years, we watch what's coming in to the house media wise and care about what our teens are watching or feasting their eyes & ears upon. We are involved. And God forbid, yes we monitor their email accounts and their cell phone usage. And certainly, their friend's parents aren't. We haven't released the reins for their indulgence in social media. They don't drink coffee yet (now known to be linked to first brain addiction & that is a choice they can make for themselves as adults). We have our reasons, that we believe in as strongly as those that oppose moral - or any - constraints. We are horrible parents and all of my daughters friends hate me.

I find it interesting that instead of hearing encouragement for being an aware parent, there is admonishment to give it all up, let go and let our teens do what they want. They are going to do it anyway so what's the point of guiding? Where's the intelligence in that statement?

What parents need is encouragement and support to remain steadfast in their right to fight (wasn't that an 80's song? "Fight for the Right... to party.." oh, yes I remember...being teen...) - against the world, to attempt to raise moral and confident human beings. Some of the areas our teens have to wade through do not strengthen them. They enslave them and at a time when their brains are just starting final development, they certainly do not have the maturity or ability to logically think - while the final stage of brain development for logical thinking is in process, a parents responsibility is to attempt to help encourage healthy brain connections and yes, protect from unhealthy brain connections. Yes, at times to stand in the way. Hands off? I don't think so.

So yesterday was a low parental day for me. I told Matt, there are days when I am ready to give up. To become like others, complacent in my parenting, let my children go elsewhere if they are so miserable and I'll let go of all responsibility and go enjoy the rest of my life. Just as others have. Yes, it's bitterness. Mostly parental hurt. Maternal hurt. The separation of parent and child for a mother, I believe can be more painful than for fathers, the risk takers.

I have these feelings rarely. When I do, a voice whispers in my heart & soul - "Stay the course".

Matt put his arm around me & said "if you were doing what the world wanted, the enemy wouldn't pay attention. But the fact you are standing by your values and not giving in to the world, attempting to raise your children against what society states to do, makes him attack." As tears rolled from my eyes I looked away and said "yes but at times I wonder if what I'm doing IS right. Because for me, doing it right is so deeply important. It's part of who I am" My own personal hell sometimes. Sometimes I care what people think. I've grown out of this more as I've matured but sometimes, especially in regards to my child or family, I really do care
and having to stand alone, is lonely. I realize that doing what I feel is right and caring what others think often create internal conflict.


Anyway, the point. I rarely listen to the radio. This morning I decided to leave it on & this song was the first song played. It's all I heard between the house & the office. I knew it was HIM speaking to me and when the final chorus hit, I just internally said "I know Lord. I know. Thank you for validation."

When HE speaks, I know it. And it always humbles me. I will stay the course, although it may not be easy and there may be little - at times - NO support in what I'm doing, I think I will be able to look back and know I did my best. There is a reason that God chose to give the responsibility of raising these kids to me. It could have been given to anyone. Yet, here I am - doing it. And when I'm down, He never misses the opportunity to bring me around.

I just got off the phone with Ryan. He says "uh, well that's what's parents do. Sometimes they make mistakes and sometimes they don't". From the mouth of babes.

Yes the kids will ultimately make their own decisions but I have to be secure in my own soul that I did all I could. Even when my kids don't like me.

LEAD ME - Sanctus Real

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them - Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Christian lyrics - LEAD ME LYRICS - SANCTUS REAL

Ted & Diane Roberts - Pure Desire Ministries

I LOVE these people! Ted Roberts was the pastor of Easthill Foursquare in Gresham, Or where I attended for 14 years. I couldn't have been under better leadership. Ted is a man's man. A vietnam figher pilot. A military man. His passion & ministry was to get the issue of sexual addiction & porn out of the closet & dealt with in ch...urch. He wrote a book Pure Desire and then started travelling to speak to ministers and pastors. He was asked to speak all over the world about this serious issue. Diane his wife, took the ministry to help hurting wives. They have left the leadership of East Hill and started their own Pure Desire University and counsel/teach leadership full time. I just found out they were interviewed on Good Morning America and am SO excited for him that God has blessed their willingness to be vulnerable and Ted's manly character to reach out to men with firm love, grace & help in this addiction that traps our society. The ministry is spreading like wildfire because the need is great.

http://www.puredesire.org/media/video/gma.asp

How TV affects your child

Most kids plug into the world of television long before they enter school. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF):

* two-thirds of infants and toddlers watch a screen an average of 2 hours a day
* kids under age 6 watch an average of about 2 hours of screen media a day, primarily TV and videos or DVDs
* kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV and that those older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming.

The first 2 years of life are considered a critical time for brain development. TV and other electronic media can get in the way of exploring, playing, and interacting with parents and others, which encourages learning and healthy physical and social development.

As kids get older, too much screen time can interfere with activities such as being physically active, reading, doing homework, playing with friends, and spending time with family.

Of course, television, in moderation, can be a good thing: Preschoolers can get help learning the alphabet on public television, grade schoolers can learn about wildlife on nature shows, and parents can keep up with current events on the evening news. No doubt about it — TV can be an excellent educator and entertainer.

But despite its advantages, too much television can be detrimental:

* Children who consistently spend more than 4 hours per day watching TV are more likely to be overweight.
* Kids who view violent acts are more likely to show aggressive behavior but also fear that the world is scary and that something bad will happen to them.
* TV characters often depict risky behaviors, such as smoking and drinking, and also reinforce gender-role and racial stereotypes.

Children's advocates are divided when it comes to solutions. Although many urge for more hours per week of educational programming, others assert that no TV is the best solution. And some say it's better for parents to control the use of TV and to teach kids that it's for occasional entertainment, not for constant escapism.

That's why it's so important for you to monitor the content of TV programming and set viewing limits to ensure that your kids don't spend too much time watching TV.

Violence

To give you perspective on just how much violence kids see on TV, consider this: The average American child will witness 200,000 violent acts on television by age 18. Kids may become desensitized to violence and more aggressive. TV violence sometimes begs for imitation because violence is often promoted as a fun and effective way to get what you want.

Many violent acts are perpetrated by the "good guys," whom kids have been taught to emulate. Even though kids are taught by their parents that it's not right to hit, television says it's OK to bite, hit, or kick if you're the good guy. This can lead to confusion when kids try to understand the difference between right and wrong. And even the "bad guys" on TV aren't always held responsible or punished for their actions.

Young kids are particularly frightened by scary and violent images. Simply telling kids that those images aren't real won't console them, because they can't yet distinguish between fantasy and reality. Behavior problems, nightmares and difficulty sleeping may be a consequence of exposure to media violence.

Older kids can also be frightened by violent depictions, whether those images appear on fictional shows, the news, or reality-based shows. Reasoning with kids this age will help them, so it's important to provide reassuring and honest information to help ease fears. However, consider not letting your kids view programs that they may find frightening.

Risky Behaviors

TV is full of programs and commercials that depict risky behaviors such as sex and substance abuse as cool, fun, and exciting. And often, there's no discussion about the consequences of drinking alcohol, doing drugs, smoking cigarettes, and having premarital sex.

For example, studies have shown that teens who watch lots of sexual content on TV are more likely to initiate intercourse or participate in other sexual activities earlier than peers who don't watch sexually explicit shows.

Alcohol ads on TV have actually increased over the last few years and more underage kids are being exposed to them than ever. A recent study by the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY) found that youth exposure to alcohol ads on TV increased by 30% from 2001 to 2006.

And although they've banned cigarette ads on television, kids and teens can still see plenty of people smoking on programs and movies airing on TV. This kind of "product placement" makes behaviors like smoking and drinking alcohol seem acceptable. In fact, kids who watch 5 or more hours of TV per day are far more likely to begin smoking cigarettes than those who watch less than the recommended 2 hours a day.

Obesity

Health experts have long linked excessive TV-watching to obesity — a significant health problem today. While watching TV, kids are inactive and tend to snack. They're also bombarded with ads that encourage them to eat unhealthy foods such as potato chips and empty-calorie soft drinks that often become preferred snack foods.

Studies have shown that decreasing the amount of TV kids watched led to less weight gain and lower body mass index (BMI — a measurement derived from someone's weight and height).
Commercials

According to the AAP, kids in the United States see 40,000 commercials each year. From the junk food and toy advertisements during Saturday morning cartoons to the appealing promos on the backs of cereal boxes, marketing messages inundate kids of all ages. And to them, everything looks ideal — like something they simply have to have. It all sounds so appealing — often, so much better than it really is.

Under the age of 8 years, most kids don't understand that commercials are for selling a product. Children 6 years and under are unable to distinguish program content from commercials, especially if their favorite character is promoting the product. Even older kids may need to be reminded of the purpose of advertising.

Of course, it's nearly impossible to eliminate all exposure to marketing messages. You can certainly turn off the TV or at least limit kids' watching time, but they'll still see and hear advertisements for the latest gizmos and must-haves at every turn.

But what you can do is teach kids to be savvy consumers by talking about the products advertised on TV. Ask thought-provoking questions like, "What do you like about that?," "Do you think it's really as good as it looks in that ad?," and "Do you think that's a healthy choice?"

Explain, when kids ask for products advertised, that commercials and other ads are designed to make people want things they don't necessarily need. And these ads are often meant to make us think that these products will make us happier somehow. Talking to kids about what things are like in reality can help put things into perspective.

To limit kids' exposure to TV commercials, the AAP recommends that you:

* Have your kids watch public television stations (some programs are sponsored — or "brought to you" — by various companies, although the products they sell are rarely shown).

* Record programs — without the commercials.

* Buy or rent children's videos or DVDs.

Understanding TV Ratings and the V-Chip

Two ways you can help monitor what your kids watch are:

1. TV Parental Guidelines. Modeled after the movie rating system, this is an age-group rating system developed for TV programs. These ratings are listed in television guides, TV listings in your local newspaper, and on the screen in your cable program guide. They also appear in the upper left-hand corner of the screen during the first 15 seconds of TV programs. But not all channels offer the rating system. For those that do, the ratings are:
* TV-Y: suitable for all children
* TV-Y7: directed toward kids 7 years and older (kids who are able to distinguish between make-believe and reality); may contain "mild fantasy violence or comedic violence" that may scare younger kids
* TV-Y7-FV: fantasy violence may be more intense in these programs than others in the TV-Y7 rating
* TV-G: suitable for a general audience; not directed specifically toward kids, but contains little to no violence, sexual dialogue or content, or strong language
* TV-PG: parental guidance suggested; may contain an inappropriate theme for younger kids and contains one or more of the following: moderate violence (V), some sexual situations (S), occasional strong language (L), and some suggestive dialogue (D)
* TV-14: parents strongly cautioned — suitable for only kids over the age of 14; contains one or more of the following: intense violence (V), intense sexual situations (S), strong language (L), and intensely suggestive dialogue
* TV-MA: designed for adults and may be unsuitable for kids under 17; contains one or more of the following: graphic violence (V), strong sexual activity (S), and/or crude language (L)
2. V-chip (V is for "violence"). This technology lets you block TV programs and movies you don't want your kids to see. All new TV sets that have screens of 13" or more now have internal V-chips, and set-top boxes are available for TVs made before 2000. The V-chip allows you to program your TV to display only appropriately rated shows — blocking out other, more mature shows.
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) requires that V-chips in new TVs recognize the TV Parental Guidelines and the age-group rating system and block those programs that don't adhere to these standards.

For many, the rating system and V-chip may be valuable tools. But there is some concern that the system may be worse than no system at all. For example, research shows that preteen and teen boys are more likely to want to see a program if it's rated MA (mature audience) than if it's PG (parental guidance suggested). And parents may rely too heavily on these tools and stop monitoring what their kids are watching.

Also, broadcast news, sports, and commercials aren't rated, although they often present depictions of violence and sexuality. The rating system also doesn't satisfy some family advocates who complain that they fail to give enough information about a program's content to allow parents to make informed decisions about whether a show is appropriate for their child.

So even if you've used the V-chip to program your TV or a show features the age-group ratings, it's still important to preview shows to determine whether they're appropriate for your child and turn off the TV if they're not.
Teaching Good TV Habits

Here are some practical ways to make TV-viewing more productive in your home:

* Limit the number of TV-watching hours:
o Stock the room in which you have your TV with plenty of other non-screen entertainment (books, kids' magazines, toys, puzzles, board games, etc.) to encourage kids to do something other than watch the tube.
o Keep TVs out of bedrooms.
o Turn the TV off during meals.
o Don't allow kids to watch TV while doing homework.
o Treat TV as a privilege to be earned — not a right. Establish and enforce family TV viewing rules, such as TV is allowed only after chores and homework are completed.
* Try a weekday ban. Schoolwork, sports activities, and job responsibilities make it tough to find extra family time during the week. Record weekday shows or save TV time for weekends and you'll have more family togetherness time to spend on meals, games, physical activity, and reading during the week.
* Set a good example by limiting your own TV viewing.
* Check the TV listings and program reviews ahead of time for programs your family can watch together (i.e., developmentally appropriate and nonviolent programs that reinforce your family's values). Choose shows that foster interest and learning in hobbies and education (reading, science, etc.).
* Preview programs before your kids watch them.
* Come up with a family TV schedule that you all agree upon each week. Then, post the schedule in a visible area (e.g., on the refrigerator) so that everyone knows which programs are OK to watch and when. And make sure to turn off the TV when the "scheduled" program is over instead of channel surfing.
* Watch TV together. If you can't sit through the whole program, at least watch the first few minutes to assess the tone and appropriateness, then check in throughout the show.
* Talk to kids about what they see on TV and share your own beliefs and values. If something you don't approve of appears on the screen, you can turn off the TV, then use the opportunity to ask thought-provoking questions such as, "Do you think it was OK when those men got in that fight? What else could they have done? What would you have done?" Or, "What do you think about how those teenagers were acting at that party? Do you think what they were doing was wrong?" If certain people or characters are mistreated or discriminated against, talk about why it's important to treat everyone fairly, despite their differences. You can use TV to explain confusing situations and express your feelings about difficult topics (sex, love, drugs, alcohol, smoking, work, behavior, family life).
* Talk to other parents, your doctor, and teachers about their TV-watching policies and kid-friendly programs they'd recommend.
* Offer fun alternatives to television. If your kids want to watch TV but you want to turn off the tube, suggest that you all play a board game, start a game of hide and seek, play outside, read, work on crafts or hobbies, or listen and dance to music. The possibilities for fun without the tube are endless — so turn off the TV and enjoy the quality time together.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=KidsHealth&lic=1&ps=107&cat_id=168&article_set=21720

Getting in Touch with your Wild Man:TAOM

I LOVE this article!!! Men, find the wildside! Matt read this to me and we laughed, half serious, when the writer talks about lawschool and that legal side of our mind that is always working out the what if's beforehand, strips you of your wild side. This has been an issue or discussed several times between Matt and I. Matt is such a risk taker and I'm always working out the details & risk evaluating! Do I want that for my son? No! I want him flying up in the air on his bike, taking on the hill on his skateboard (padded & helmeted thank you), snowboarding with the rest of them - not stuffed into the girl boundaries! Same for my daughter. Guess I'd better make that skydiving appointment for myself.... maybe next year.

See the article here - it has video from the movie which is a must see.

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/07/12/dance-like-zorba-the-greek-getting-in-touch-with-your-wild-man/#comment-108915

We talk a lot about gentlemanly behavior and comportment on The Art of Manliness. I think it’s a trait we can all use more of and our culture finds in short supply. Acting like gentlemen builds our self-respect, makes our interactions with others more pleasant, and brings civility back to society.

But I don’t think we should pursue manners and self-discipline to the detriment of our Wild Man. The idea of the Wild Man was popularized in recent times by John Bly’s book about men entitled Iron John. In the book, Bly analyzes the Grimm fairy tale of Iron John and how it relates to a man’s mental and emotional development. To Bly, Iron John is the archetypal Wild Man. He’s covered in hair, he’s big, and he’s earthy. Iron John lives in the forest where it’s dangerous and mysterious. He scares civilized society because he doesn’t always follow the rules.

But according to Bly, the Wild Man isn’t some macho dude or savage man who takes pleasure in violence. The Wild Man is filled with masculine strength or what Bly calls Zeus Energy. The Ancient Greeks called this energy thumos or spiritedness. The Wild Man is the opposite of the pony-tailed New Age guy who only cultivates his nurturing or feminine side. The Wild Man has a fierceness that he’ll use to fight for what he thinks is right. The Wild Man isn’t afraid to shout what he wants and mean it. In short, the Wild Man isn’t afraid or ashamed of being a man.

In Iron John, the Wild Man takes a young boy out into the woods away from his parents and in the process teaches the boy about being a man. According to Bly, we all need to take that trip out into the wild and learn from the Wild Man in order to grow into a complete and mature masculinity. We need to be gentlemen and civilized, yes. But for a man to be truly happy and live a full life, he cannot neglect his Wild Man.

Zorba the Greek Dances His Heart Out
A film that perfectly captures man’s need to get in touch with his Wild Man is Zorba the Greek. Zorba is a man who lives life fully. He’s earthy. He’s filled with with that life giving Zeus Energy that Bly talks about. He’s the Wild Man.

Basil, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He’s a buttoned-down British gentleman who always says and does what’s proper and what’s expected of him. He’s lifeless, boring, and predictable.

There’s this awesome scene in the film where the difference between Basil and Zorba is highlighted perfectly. Watch:

Zorba dances like a mad man and Basil watches in awe. I love the look that Zorba gets on his face when he hears the music start to play. It’s a look that says, “I’m about to get wild. Join me or get out of the way!” But Zorba’s masculine energy and thumos makes Basil uncomfortable, so he stops Zorba.

If you think about it, that’s how we often treat manliness in our modern world. We’re afraid of manliness, and we try to tame it. We want to throw the Wild Man in a cage. Just look at the way we treat boys in our public schools. Boys by nature love rough and tumble play and are full of energy. They wrestle with each other on the carpet during reading time. They shout out answers without raising their hands. They get restless during grammar lessons, but light up with excitement when they get their hands dirty with a science experiment.

But what do we tell these boys? Behave! Sit still! Quiet down! We basically ask boys to act like girls. If asking and shaming doesn’t work, we tame the Wild Boy with pharmaceuticals.

I’ve seen this in my own life. I remember as a boy my friends and I would build giant dirt ramps in the fields behind our houses. I’d race my bike with wild abandon towards the incline and then propel myself into the air. For a brief moment I took flight, and I relished the feeling of absolute freedom. Yeah, I got hurt. But that was part of the excitement- the risk of serious physical harm. My friends and I were mad for adventure, and we looked for it every day.

Fast forward to today, and that Wild Man I once had has been tamed. After years of being told to “behave” and do what’s safe, I’ve become hyper risk-averse. Law school only made my aversion to risk even worse. As a lawyer, you’re trained to see and avoid problems so you don’t end up in court. I know I’ve annoyed Kate more than once by endlessly detailing everything that could possibly go wrong when we’re trying to make a decision.

But back to Zorba and Basil.

At the end of the film, Zorba the Greek and Basil sit together on a beach after witnessing the destruction of a giant zip line contraption that Zorba created to ferry wood down from a mountain. They share some wine and lamb and while they eat Zorba imparts some advice to his dull friend:

The scene really resonates with me because I know exactly where Basil is coming from. I think a lot of us do. We’ve spent our whole lives “behaving” and trying to please those around us. We go to college because that’s what we’re “supposed” to do. We work in careers that give us prestige, but don’t excite us at all. We play it safe and hope we can just get by in life. In the process, we’ve tamed the Wild Man within us and lost our passion for life.

Zorba is right. If a man wants to be truly free and truly alive, he has to have a bit of madness. You have to, as Robert Bly would say, be in touch with your Wild Man. Just look at how happy the two men are as they dance like Wild Men. When was the last time you were that full of joy? In our modern vernacular, “madness” has a negative connotation. We think lunatics and straight jackets when we hear the word. But that has not always been the way madness was viewed. The Ancient Greeks acknowledged the kind of madness that made a man insensible, but also believed in an entirely positive type of madness. For them, positive madness was a gift from the gods, powerful divine inspiration that superseded reason. The Ancient Greeks believed four kinds of divine madness existed: 1) madness of prophecy, 2) madness of love, 3) madness of poetry, and 4) madness of ritual. In the Phaedrus, Plato said that these forms of madness were “the source of the chiefest blessings granted to men” and that the “greatest of good things come to us through madness.”

Madness inspires men to create beautiful pieces of art and to love passionately and deeply. Madness imparts flashes of wisdom and insight and spurs men to attempt amazing and inspiring feats that a more reasonable and “sane” man would never venture to try.

When I think of some of the great men from history that I admire, many of them have this madness that Zorba talks about. When the world told them to “behave” or do the “reasonable thing,” they told the world to go to hell and they danced like Zorba right in the world’s face.

How to Dance Like Zorba
Some of you might be reading this and thinking “I’m Basil! I’m the boring stiff who’s lost all passion for life. I’ve tamed my Wild Man. How can I be more like Zorba?” I’ll readily admit I’m still in the process of getting back in touch with my Wild Man, but here are a few things I’ve learned that might help some of you.

Ask for help. In Iron John, the young boy learned about his wild side directly from the Wild Man. Basil learned how to dance from the Wild Man, Zorba the Greek. I’m sure we all know men in our lives that are full of Zeus Energy. They’re like Zorba the Greek. Seek these men out and ask if you can just hang out with them every now and then. You don’t have to ask your Wild Man mentor questions about what it means to be a man. Just talk and do stuff with him. The thing about Wild Man energy is that it’s life giving and contagious. It rubs off on people and inspires fierceness in other men.

Do one uncomfortable thing every day. One thing that’s helped me to get in touch with my Wild Man is to get out of my comfort zone as much as possible. Do something you’ve been wanting to do for awhile now, but have been putting off because it made you uncomfortable. Ask your boss for a raise. Ask that attractive woman you’ve been saying “hi” to for the past few months on a date. Talk to a stranger. Yeah, they’re not very dangerous, but all these activities involve some risk. You could be rejected and you might have your ego bruised. The Tame Man wouldn’t even bother to try because he can’t face that sort of discomfort. The Wild Man lives for the uncertainty and doesn’t take it personally if someone tells him to take a hike.

Do dangerous stuff. Alright. You’ve made some baby steps by doing stuff that would normally make you uncomfortable. Now it’s time to kick it up a notch. Go out and do something dangerous. Now, let me be clear. I’m not saying to be stupid. If you’ve never skydived before, I don’t recommend base-jumping from the Grand Canyon right off the bat. But find an activity that you’ve avoided because you were told all your life that it wasn’t safe. Shoot a gun. Go white water rafting. Hitchhike. Play rugby. Ride a motorcycle. Just do something dangerous and watch how the Wild Man responds to it. He’ll love it.

Push yourself physically. I love what AoM contributor, Chris Hutcheson said about getting in touch with your Wild Man.

“I think using your body to full capacity goes a long way towards getting in touch with your wild man. For example, I get the wild man feeling right about the same time I feel like I’m going to puke when I’m on a long hike up a mountain, or in the final minutes of a tied up rugby match when I have to run and hit even harder than I have been the entire match just to seal the deal. Something about knowing that I’m pushing the limit physically is what does it for me.”

Spend some time in the wild. Makes sense doesn’t it? If you want to get in touch with your Wild Man, then you need to spend some time in his natural habitat-the wild. We go from our climate-controlled houses to our climate-controlled cars to our climate-controlled office to our climate controlled gym and then back into our hole. You need to seek an environment that isn’t controlled at all, that’s free, natural, wild. Head out into the forest and mountains. Breathe air that hasn’t been recycled. Touch things that haven’t been manufactured. Go a few days without showering and get some real dirt on your body.

Dance like a Zorba. Have you ever been to a concert or a wedding and noticed how most of the men behave? They usually have their arms folded as they self-consciously tap their foot to the beat of the music. But we modern men in the West have forgotten the power of dance. We think it’s below us, that it’s just not cool or manly. Zorba the Greek would object.

There’s always that One Guy at the party or concert who understands this and just gets into it. He’s jumping around and gyrating to the rhythm of the music, and he doesn’t care what the hell other people think. He’s Zorba.

There’s something primal and wild about dancing. Every primitive tribe had a dance that only the men participated in. It was a way for men to tell stories, worship, prepare for battle and express their emotions fully.

This week, I want you to try to do your best Wild Man, Zorba dance. You can even do it in a place where no one will see you. Put on a favorite song and just dance your heart out for that one song. Your mind will tell you to stop, that you’re crazy. But don’t listen. That’s just the wussy Basil-side of you telling you to be sane. To keep the Wild Man in his cage.

But if you want to be free, you have to be a little mad. Dance on, brother. Dance on.

Employment Opportunity of the Day

Microsoft - Site Manager


Type: Full-time
Experience: Not Applicable
Functions: Information Technology
Industries: Computer Software
Posted: July 6, 2010
Employer Job ID: 853218

Job Description

Job Category:
Software Engineering: Content Publishing
Location:
United States, WA, Bellevue
Job ID:
722834 19665
Product:
MSN
Division:
Online Services Division

Want to work on the of the largest Web portals in the world? Do you have a love for technology and for media/journalism? If so, then this might be the career choice for you. The MSN.com homepage Entry Points team has an opening for a savvy and seasoned Site Manger/Producer who can produce and program content onto MSN.com homepage and related MSN entry points. You will be instrumental in the production and maintenance of content such as but not limited to slideshows, feature improvements, content publishing and general site management. The position entails you to work closely with and establish working relationships with Home Page Editors, peer Producers and photo editors. This position is based in Bellevue, WA.

The successful candidate:
• Should have 3-5 years' experience in publishing, online technology or web production
• A bachelor's degree in Journalism, web production or a related field is required
• Must have publishing background with knowledge of production and online publishing systems
• Must be able to handle multiple editorial/programming responsibilities concurrently
• Work well under regular, various and changing deadline pressure
• Will work well with a team in a fast-paced, daily publishing environment
• Must be able to work autonomously
• Possess excellent trouble shooting and problem solving skills
• Project management skills are a plus
• Knowledge of HTML or other web technologies a plus
• Willing or able to work one weekend day; hours to be determined.

Qualified and interested candidates are encouraged to apply!!

O:MSN
MSNCJ
XMSNX:CIJO*LI
Nearest Major Market: Seattle
Nearest Secondary Market: Bellevue
Job Category: Creative, Web Design, Engineering, Engineer, Maintenance Engineer, Software Engineer, Management, Manager, Publishing, Media Publishing, Journalism, Technology, Project Manager, Developer
Additional Information

* Applicants with recommendations are preferred.(You have 5 recommendations)

Job ID: 1000197

http://www.linkedin.com/jobs?viewJob=&jobId=1000197&srchIndex=220&trk=njsrch_hits&goback=.fjs_*1_*1_microsoft_I_us_*1_*1_23_R_true_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2

My Emotional Affair - a story

I saw this article today and thought it was a good story to post, a reminder of our healthy place within our marriage relationship and healthy place with friendships of the opposite sex outside our marriages - it can be a quick fall. -Rebecca

"About 15 years into my marriage, my heart started turning cold toward my husband. He had an odd schedule at work, and then he spent most of his leisure hours volunteering at our church. When I tried to talk to him about spending less time at church and more with me and our children, he angrily shot back, “You’re just trying to hold me back from doing God’s work.” He then began punishing me by turning his back to me in the bedroom.

Feeling lonely and rejected, I confided my misery to a friend who had called about an upcoming ministry project. My friend was kind and understanding. Unfortunately, no one had ever told me to guard my conversations with the opposite sex. The friend was a man and a very good-looking one at that.

We began talking more frequently. I thought the conversations were innocent, even though they now included discussions about the struggles in his marriage. Gradually, our phone relationship escalated to flirting, and his calls were the highlight of my week. Neither of us told our spouses.

At church, I noticed that he watched me a lot. I admit that I enjoyed the attention, the affirmative words, and the “high” I got with my schoolgirl crush. If someone had asked me if I was having an affair, however, I would have denied it. After all, there were no private lunches, there was no secret rendezvous, and there was no physical touch except for a public hug now and then or a slight touch of the hand. Everybody in our church hugged anyway so no one was the wiser … or so I thought.

Our emotional affair rocked on for over a year until the day he said to me, “I think I’m in love with you.” Honestly, I felt the same about him, but hearing the words jolted me into reality. I was so upset afterwards that I looked at myself in the mirror in shock and cried, “What have I done?”

I didn’t like what I saw as the Holy Spirit replayed the ugly truth of my actions back to me. Had I been physically unfaithful to my husband? No. Had I committed adultery in my heart? Yes.

I plowed through days of agony before finally falling to my knees before God in surrender. One definition of relinquishment is “giving up title, releasing possession or control and yielding power.” How could I do otherwise? I had been a Christian for 16 years. My body was not my own. I had been bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20), so it was no longer my will that counted but His (Luke 22:42).

I confessed to God that I felt nothing for my husband, but that vows are not made to be broken. I would rather be unhappy the rest of my life than bring reproach to God’s name, embarrass my children, or break up my family or anyone else’s. As the Holy Spirit strengthened me, I heard the words in my heart that Jesus spoke to Peter over and over (John 21:15-17): “Do you love Me?”

“Yes Lord, I love You, and I repent.”

“Then trust Me,” said the still, small voice.

With my hands shaking and my heart racing, I made the call to tell my friend it was over. “I can’t do this anymore because the Lord has convicted me,” I told him. “Please don’t call me again.” Being an honorable man, he had never pressed me into anything, and he didn’t now. He graciously made it easy for me to say goodbye.

I didn’t think I would have to tell my husband. We changed churches for other reasons and, frankly, I was afraid to confess. Meanwhile our new church had a positive effect on both of us and our relationship was slowly improving. We spent more time together and our intimacy returned.

Finally, when I felt comfortable and with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, we sat down together one evening and I confessed. I didn’t want any secrets between us.

My husband had some questions and then he shocked me by saying, “I knew it all along. Do you think I was blind to the looks and banter between you two?” He couldn’t really explain why he had not confronted me, but I was so touched by his grace and forgiveness. For the first time he, too, confessed that he shared the blame for neglecting me and our family. It was a holy moment I’ll never forget. Neither will I forget the surprise birthday present he presented to me a couple of weeks later—a 14k gold ring with my birthstone in it.

I learned five important things from this experience:

First, there's nothing more important than my relationship with God. I had to acknowledge that I had drifted from Him. When I got into a crisis, I became distracted and compromised, which led to sin.

Second, the feelings of love for my husband are a direct result of my love and obedience to God. He rewards obedience. He would not have blessed my sin and disobedience. When I put Him back on the throne of my life, I started receiving everything I needed for life, love, and happiness.

Third, married women should not pour out their troubles to another man, or vice-versa. It’s a trap of the enemy. Satan wants to derail lives and marriages. Don’t let him!

Fourth, infatuation is not love. It is selfish and doesn’t meet the criteria of righteous love in 1 Corinthians 13:5-6.

Finally, I chose to lead my heart instead of continuing to let it lead me. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick.” I learned not to trust my heart for guidance or truth.

Now, many years later, my relationship with my husband continues to flourish. I never dreamed I could love him as much as I do. The Creator of marriage knows how to redeem it – for those who are willing to relinquish and lay down their own lives for the glory that is to come."

Related resources
Covenant Marriage, by Dr. Gary Chapman
The Healing Choice, by Brenda Stoeker and Susan Allen
Rekindling the Romance, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Before the Last Resort, by George Kenworthy

Employment Opportunity of the Day 2

Microsoft - Principal Architect


Type:Full-time
Experience:Mid-Senior level
Functions:Engineering, Information Technology
Industries: Computer Software, Information Technology and Services
Posted: June 9, 2010 by Chris Copeland
Employer Job ID:720152

Job Description

Want to have an extra-ordinary impact on the most mission critical systems in Microsoft? Want to improve the experience of thousands of Microsoft’s most important customers & partners on a daily basis? Love to architect, design, and code on the really interesting problems? Like to be part of a small and agile team of expert architects in a highly collaborative environment? Being one of the few Engineering Architects in Microsoft IT is probably the perfect job for you.

We are looking for an IT Software Architect to join our team of architects responsible for the production of architectural roadmaps and platform strategy for Microsoft IT. We are a small team of architects that work at the center of an otherwise decentralized web of engineering architects spread across Microsoft’s vast confederated IT landscape of organizations. This team works with leaders of each IT organization as well the central IT executives to facilitate planning the IT application portfolio, setting the platform standards, aligning roadmaps of application delivery with our platform strategies, and directly facilitating project teams to form architectures consistent with roadmaps, platforms, governance policy, and IT standards for architect and design. The organization operates as a very practically focused think-tank with great peer-to-peer collaboration and strong experience leadership.

You must have an expert understanding of IT and/or enterprise architectures, solid understanding of software engineering principles, strong information and process modeling abilities, expert understanding of object-oriented analysis and design, advanced knowledge of the .Net platform, deep knowledge of software infrastructure, good knowledge of industry trends and emerging technologies, and be independently proficient in developing enterprise level software solutions. You must also possess superior problem-solving skills, the ability to collaborate effectively with other engineering disciplines, demonstrated skills in indirect influence, and a long proven track record of delivering secure, high quality software.

Core Job Responsibilities
Create and/or drive the creation of portfolio specific roadmaps/platform strategy
Advise IT executives on technology and architecture trends they need for their decision making and Microsoft external engagements
Identify and aid in the decision making around architecture trade-offs with risks, delivery, scalability/performance, flexibility, maintainability, security, and other quality concerns.
Research and publish strategic guidance for emerging or “new to us” technology and architecture.
Monitor and review systems so that they are designed and developed in compliance with corporate security, privacy, accessibility, SOX, legal, and other governance policies.
Communicate effectively with other disciplines including Executive Management, Local Architects, Development, Program Management, Test, Hardware/Infrastructure, and Production Support.
Mentoring other engineers to grow to similar levels of expertise and effectiveness.

Position Requirements:

• BS/BA in computer science or related field required + MS in computer science or related field preferred
• 12+ years of related work experience
• Expert architecture, design, & implementation skills in most of the following areas: C#, ASP.NET, SQL, SOA, and web based and/or smart client OLTP design and development and a high degree of understanding of security, scalability, flexibility, maintainability, and reliability.
• Experience in a world-wide distributed computing environment, and special emphasis on transactional or reporting systems associated with an operations environment
• Expert object oriented development and design experience
• Expert in structural and dynamic modeling
• Strong conceptualization, analytical, and logic skills
• Excellent communication and written skills are critical

Employment Opportunity of the Day

Microsoft:
Senior Director – Americas Region Real Estate and Facilities at Microsoft


Job Description

The Regional Director is responsible for directing the full life cycle of real estate activities (plan, design, build/lease, operate, maintain) for Microsoft’s Americas real estate portfolio. The Americas portfolio comprises ~ 4.9Msf of which 1.0M is owned and 3.9msf is leased. The portfolio spreads across 23 countries in 170 locations, housing 19,000 staff. The position reports into the General Manager for Global Real Estate, who reports through to the Finance executive leadership. The position has direct management responsibility (as of June, 2010) for over 23 FTEs and 600 vendors. The home location for this position is flexible, but must be within the United States or Canada. This individual will work proactively with BG leadership as well as Finance and Accounting (F&A) Controllers and other internal business groups to understand their business requirements and identify opportunities where RE&F initiatives can add value, and work collaboratively to develop regional-specific implementation plans. They will be responsible for achieving measurable year-over-year improvements in quality, service, and business satisfaction.
Major Responsibilities:
The Regional Director's primary responsibility is to ensure alignment of business and RE&F requirements consistent with achieving agreed upon annual objectives. Scope of responsibility includes: 1) participating in global RE&F operational planning, including defining the operational plans for all regional facilities consistent with business objectives, 2) overseeing the execution of Real Estate and Facilities management across the region,3) optimize the total RE&F expense in partnership with regional site services sourcing teams, 4) achieving continuous improvement in the quality and effectiveness of facilities managed and services delivered, and 5) delivering workplace build out and services that support and enhance the productivity our the employees housed in the facilities.
Key responsibilities:
1. Partner with the regional Vice Presidents, GM and Finance and Accounting (F&A) Controllers to ensure that occupation demand measurements and RE&F operational plans are in place and accurate for countries in the region.
2. Ensure alignment between the RE&F strategy and RE&F activities at both the regional and site levels.
3. Oversee the operational relationship with the RE&F supplier base.
4. Drive proactive planning and management the region's real estate portfolio.
5. Ensure that RE&F is in compliance with all statutory regulations and Microsoft policies and controls.
6. Oversee and ensure successful delivery of the RE&F services and projects within the region, including capital plans, forecasting, rhythm of business (RoB), and budgeting.
7. Oversee the breadth of facilities management services within the region, facilities helpdesk, health and safety, A/V, reception, and courier services, waste and cleaning, etc. Provide a safe working environment for all FTEs and vendors.
8. Manage, lead, and develop direct reports including: clearly communicating performance standards; ensuring that all team members have annual, measurable commitments and that all employees receive timely, annual performance reviews against those commitments; and ensuring that team members have updated career development plans and receive appropriate career coaching.
9. Set expectations of the Controllers and client group executives in the areas of real estate processes, schedule, workplace strategies, costs, etc. Deliver regional and oversee sub-regional business reviews.
10. Drive business initiatives for the improvement and development of Microsoft's overall business model. Ensure that real estate market opportunities are proactively pursued. Recommend and implement activities to capture operational and financial benefits for Microsoft.
Professional/Personal Skill Requirements
1. Personal:
a. B.S. in Finance, Engineering, Architecture or Construction/Project Management. MBA or other advanced degree preferred.
b. A degree of cultural awareness and demonstrated experience in working with and understanding various cultures.
c. Ability to analyze problems and opportunities, conclude direction and make critical decisions.
d. Willingness and capability to travel and to work on multiple projects in multiple countries simultaneously.
e. Strong communications (written and verbal) skills. Demonstrated experience in negotiations and influencing skills at a senior level including presentation to “C Suite” members. Strong relationship management skills; able to develop "trusted advisor" status with business group mid and senior level management tiers.


2. Industry:
a. 10 years of experience in management/leadership role in an operationally oriented line of business, preferably within a multinational corporate environment. Key areas of experience are executive client relationship management, strategic vendor management, financial management of significant operating and/or capital budgets, and management of cross-geographic and cross-team initiatives.
Experience managing corporate real estate and facilities functions is not required but will be viewed as a positive and will be balanced with meeting requirements noted in 2a.above.

To become an applicant for this position, APPLY HERE located at https://careers.microsoft.com/.
To learn more about Real Estate & Facilities contact a-kidrur@microsoft.com.

Microsoft is an Equal Opportunity Employer (EOE) and strongly supports diversity in the workplace.

Employment Opportunity of the day

I may have mentioned to Matt that Apple is working towards world dominion (not just Microsoft dominion...) and is closely working with Big Brother, drawing all of us in with their amazing FUN technology... as is Facebook and MySpace (in collecting all of your personal whereabouts and information tidbits (has your clone arrived to take your place yet?)) :) - so I found this interesting job opportunity today for Microsoft. And the military. Hmmmm. ;)

Anyway, it made me think of starting a Employment Opportunity of the day (week maybe) on my blog. Who knows what might help someone else! - the Federal SI community - is that Secret Intelligence? How exciting! Ha! If anyone takes this job, I want to be your Executive Admin.


Microsoft’s Department of Defense business has an immediate opening for a Director of the Army team. This position is based in the Washington, DC area.

The Army team represents Microsoft’s largest account and is both a strategic as well as a revenue team. The team focuses on short, medium, and long-term revenue opportunities within the Department of the Army and the subordinate Army Commands. The Director of this team develops and executes the business plan for a team comprised of program management, sales, business development, technical support, and technology evangelism. The Director is effectively able to uncover, assess, and prioritize current and future opportunities while working directly with the customer, internal organizations within Microsoft, the Federal SI community and the DoD partner ecostructure. The Army team is responsible for understanding and influencing customer-specific technology requirements, resulting in the adoption of Microsoft solutions in strategic, mission-critical applications. The Director should be familiar with DoD policies, requirements, and architectures. The manager of this highly visible business should have extensive experience working with strategic Army organizations and should be intimately familiar with the organizational makeup, core missions and strategies of the CIO/G-6, Army ACOMs, and PEOs such as EIS, C3T, STRI, and Space & Missile; Other key organizations include, NETCOM, Cyber, and the CHESS organization.

This position will be filled with an experienced, professional speaker who is comfortable in front of large groups as well as senior DoD and industry personnel and should have a basic understanding of Microsoft solutions and associated technologies. Preferred qualifications include: 10+ years technology sales experience working with the Department of Defense; strong expertise with enterprise solutions; exceptional leadership, negotiation, organizational, creative, presentation, written and verbal communication skills; this position will require 35-40% domestic travel with occasional international travel. Prior experience working with Department of Defense customers is desired as is a current security clearance. Due to the nature of the U.S. Federal Business, U.S. citizenship is required. This position reports to the General Manager of Microsoft’s Department of Defense team in Washington, DC.

Job ID: 1021424

http://www.linkedin.com/jobs?viewJob=&jobId=1021424&srchIndex=18&trk=njsrch_hits&goback=.fjs_*1_*1_microsoft_I_us_*1_*1_2_R_true_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2

Is Social Media Smart Marketing?

As I've delved deeper in to our company marketing (see our website www.bradleycommercialrealestate.com ), the owner & I have discussed the use of Facebook. And Twitter. Maybe I can see a use for Twitter (?) - use of that media probably largely depends on the size of your company and your customer base/market - but I still can't seem to grasp the use of Facebook. I've heard someone talk about it in reference to a new condominium development - one centered around a shopping center and theatre - where there is community. The Tweets and FB posts are relative to the community news, etc. Yes that could be useful. It's social yes? But every day PROFESSIONAL marketing? I see FB as something that's hip & hype now but in the future, as with a lot of things, will pass on by (I'm sure something else will replace it) and REAL marketing will stick with us all. Probably a sign of my age. I've become one of the old timers.

One of my all time favorite commercials that has always stuck in my head is the one where the manager is handing out airline tickets to all his reps to go visit their clients - face to face. "Where you going". "I'm going to see an old friend" - because he's going to visit their oldest customer account they just lost due to their own growth and loss of the best customer service tool ever - face to face contact.

Since this article supports the continuing need for old fashioned print marketing and doesn't reflect new social or electronic media as the end all, I like it (ha!) and am passing on.


MARKETING TRENDS:


Media experts tend to agree that printed publications are here to stay for the foreseeable future. (See Magazines, The Power of Print and The Twenty Tweetable Truths about Magazines for some entertaining and informative perspectives on the “Death of Print.”) Yet, understandably, there has been a lot of buzz in recent months about introducing more electronic and social media into the marketing mix.

We’re all aware of the significance and impact of today’s new communication tools. Social media, text messaging, smart phone .mobi websites and apps have become so ubiquitous that many of us feel like we have missed the train and are racing down the platform waving and hoping the engineer will take pity and slow down to let us jump aboard.

Our advice? Don’t panic. While these technologies are exciting and provide some serious advantages, they should not be considered the end-all marketing strategy, but rather just another arrow in your quiver. And from all indications, they’re not going away, just changing so rapidly that it’s hard to keep up and still keep your eye on the rest of your business. So relax and start educating yourself.



Commitment Required

If you are thinking about making this shift, don’t ignore the expenses required to properly staff and maintain this strategy. This type of marketing requires an ongoing commitment of staffing and resources in order to stay current and meet your expectations. In many cases, depending on your goals, a full-time staff position will be required to maintain a consistent presence and voice in the competitive marketplace. This person should also be fluent in SEO-speak and the importance of your branding strategies so all of your electronic and print collateral are working in harmony.



Join the Revolution!

The bottom line is that a well-rounded marketing campaign still requires a good mix of print and electronic media. None of these tools will work as well alone as they do in the proper combination. And most importantly, take the time to learn how to use these tools correctly or you may risk wasting a lot of time and valuable resources.

As sexy as the notion of social and electronic media is, you have to be willing to commit fully to the ongoing process in order to see any tangible benefits. These tools are only as effective as you are and if you are not incorporating these powerful tools into your media mix, you are probably losing market share to your competitors.

Take a look at Social Media Revolution to gain a better understanding of the scope and influence of social media in today’s world. But rest assured, even most early adopters readily agree that they are never fully satisfied that they are using these platforms to their maximum potential. This is very much a work in progress and social media consultants are loving it.

The New Marriage Proposal

Will you marry me?

Why Tom, this is wonderful!

It is? So you’re saying yes?!

Well, under the right circumstances, I think we can come to a mutual agreement.

Uh, circumstances – mutual agreement – what are you saying?

Well, for one, which partner will have a controlling interest in this proposed marriage?

What? You know, 50-50.

Laughter… 50-50, hehe. What about 30/70, in my favor and I let you have a night out with the guys once a month!

Wait a minute! I’m not going any less than 60/40 and you have to change the oil in your own car.

Uh, well, if I give you 45/55, will you agree to back rubs every night…and no limits on my shopping?

You’ve got to be crazy! Oh, I got it. Let’s make it 55/45 and you promise no visits from your mother..!



Mommy Rhapsody

Mommy Rhapsody to one of my all time favorites - Bohemian Rhapsody! Rock on moms!

Mommy Rhapsody from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

The Dad Life Video

Hilarious Video! Definitely Matt and I see Jim Smith in here too, right down to the twin girls in the back seat.

Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Sex Offenders & Social Networking Dangers & kids

All I have to say, is one child molested or lured in to meeting w/an offender is one too many. This article kind of alludes to the responsibility of a teenager to not go there (during a time when hormones & emotions are raging through their brain, a lot of teens are lonely, abandoned, not cared for, looking to fill some gap with their undeveloped brain, lacking the ability for logical thought)and that 100 cases isn't that bad. I don't agree with that illusion. However, there is good information re:sex offenders here so I'm including the entire article.

by Anne Collier and Larry Magid

There has been a flurry of media coverage of North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper's announcement that MySpace had found more than 29,000 registered sex offenders' profiles on its site. As shocking as this news may seem, parents of teen social networkers deserve some perspective.

Finding and expelling sexual predators from social Web sites - something MySpace says it now does routinely - is a good thing. Other social sites are similarly cooperating with law enforcement. But this announcement from North Carolina Attorney General oy Cooper (see General Cooper's "Protecting Children from MySpace," a link under "What's New" on his page) was only possible because MySpace took the initiative to develop a law-enforcement tool the federal government called for in a recently passed law but failed to create: a national sex offender database that MySpace then donated to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children for broader use.

* Beyond the Web. Sex offenders aren't just in social-networking sites online. They're in chatrooms and newsgroups, on discussion boards and file-sharing networks. They've been on the Internet since before there was a World Wide Web, long before social networking took off. Now social sites are helping to expose their online activities.

* The numbers. Let's put the 29,000 profiles in context: More will probably be found, but there are more than 190 million profiles on MySpace at the moment. Now let's move from the Net to "real life." There are 602,000 registered sex offenders in the United States. That's just registered ones - those who've been caught and convicted. The vast majority of child molesters are not strangers whom children meet online. Very, very few are strangers in real life even: According to the California Department of Justice, “90% of child victims know their offender, with almost half of the offenders being a family member. Of sexual assaults against people age 12 and up, approximately 80% of the victims know the offender."

* Actual cases. Last spring I was looking for a solid figure for sexual exploitation of minors in social-networking sites after hearing Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal's reference to "the towering danger of sexual predators" (see "Predators vs. cyberbullies"). General Cooper's office told me there were approximately 100 known cases in MySpace in 2005, but that number was based not on government statistics but a Lexis-Nexis search of news reports. That's 100 cases too many, but an extremely small proportion of the 12 million teens who use such sites, and it pales compared to the number of kids molested by acquaintances and family members.

* No kidnappings. In all those cases, a teenager willingly got together with someone he or she met online and, contrary to what many people think, the kids often knew what they were getting into and, in every known case, went to meet the offenders themselves. This doesn't excuse these crimes in any way, but parents need to understand how this victimization works and what signs to look for….

* Who's actually victimized. At a recent hearing on Capitol Hill, David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center, gave a profile of what he described as a fairly typical victim of online predation: "Jenna" was 13 and "from a divorced family, frequented sex-oriented chatrooms, had the screenname 'Evilgirl.' There she met a guy who, after a number of conversations admitted he was 45. He flattered her, sent her gifts, jewelry. They talked about intimate things. And eventually he drove across several states to meet her for sex on several occasions in motel rooms. When he was arrested, in her company, she was reluctant to cooperate with law enforcement authorities" (see the full story). "Jenna" is not a typical teen or social networker; she's a typical victim of online predation, a high-risk teen offline, representing somewhere between 2% and 5% of online teens, Dr. Finkelhor indicated in a recent briefing on Capitol Hill.

* Social networking's very individual. Whether it's a positive or negative experience depends on who uses it. The vast majority of our online kids are for the most part using social sites to socialize with their friends at school. Some are decorating their pages and learning graphic design, writing software code, playing with digital photos, producing and editing video, and so on, all in a very collective way. Unfortunately, some teens are seeking the wrong kind of validation online for destructive behaviors such as eating disorders, cutting, and substance abuse. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline told us over a year ago that MySpace was its No. 1 source of referrals, so teens are also getting help in MySpace for depression, domestic violence, loneliness, and substance abuse, as well as suicidal thinking, through the work of 120 crisis centers nationwide whose work the Lifeline coordinates.

* Cyberbullying affects a lot more teens. So far two nationwide surveys in the US have found that about one-third of online teens in this country have been victimized by cyberbullying (one in Canada put the figure at about two-thirds for Canadian kids!). That's at least 8 million young people in the US (this too in "Predators vs. cyberbullies"). This peer harassment needs to be addressed, which will certainly happen at home and in school, as we teach our kids to be good friends and "citizens" online as well as off.

So let's keep these scary predator announcements in perspective. We want parents to have the facts so they can remain calm. When parents (and officials) overreact and start banning things, kids just go underground - as they have since the beginning of time. Only now they can do so online too - on hundreds of social networking sites, in IM, on phones and all sorts of other devices and at proliferating connection points in parks, libraries, cafes, and at friends' houses.

http://www.connectsafely.org/Commentaries-Staff/social-networking-dangers-in-perspective.html

Vote for Dilling!

A lifetime friend of Kayla's grandparents and her excellent English teacher at Woodinville High last year, he has submitted this video to Oprah with an idea for a new talk show. Watch & vote for Colby Dilling!

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=12828&promo_id=1

Keep your home a sanctuary for your family.

It's a battle for your attention

In our media-driven culture we are being bombarded daily with messages of contradicting values. Men and women of faith are inundated with the theme of never being enough in the workplace or at home, as spouses or as parents. The presentation of "reality" is being warped and skewed at an alarming rate.

What about your children? Television, films and video games offer gratuitous violence; teen programs with provocative clothes and situations; pop-ups on the Web ... they're all fighting against the virtues and values you hold most dear and strive to instill in your kids.

Fortunately there are great, God-honoring alternatives worthy of your family's attention. For over 20 years, Focus on the Family® has been publishing magazines that bring trusted, age-appropriate entertainment, insight and issues right into your home--where influence begins and thrives. It's more important than ever that we be discerning of our media selections. You can be confident that Focus' magazines provide positive and informed fuel for the heart and mind. Generations of readers know the true value of these magazines, so check out the impact these good choices have made in their lives.

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Slow Fade

Every time I hear this song I get goosebumps. We live in this visually, sexualized environment, which we've been groomed for desensitization ( a.To make (an individual) nonreactive or insensitive to an antigen b.To make emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks) to the effects of stimuli on our brains and our kids brains from very early ages. The true importance of what we allow in to our psyche, via auditory, visually or kinetically has been lost. We've adopted the lie of "educate your children" by exposure that we're simply handing ourselves & them over to The Slow Fade.

-Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away.

People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade.

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

(sung by a child)

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see.

Types of Depression UNIQUE TO WOMEN

In addition to the major types of depression that affect men and women, women also suffer from unique types of depression due to their special physiology and hormones. Estrogen, the “female sex hormone,” affects more than 300 functions in a woman’s body including regulating menstrual cycles, protecting the heart and maintaining strong bones. The fluctuating levels of estrogen during menstrual cycles, pregnancy and menopause may impact mood and, in severe cases, trigger depressive episodes.

Unfortunately, these types of depressive episodes in women and girls often are blamed on “being moody,” “that time of the month,” or “the change” and go untreated. It is time to get beyond stereotypes that prevent women from getting medical help:

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can be treated or prevented — there is no reason why women need to suffer so needlessly and frequently.
More than half of the women suffering from postpartum depression will experience it again with the birth of another child. It is critical to identify this danger and treat it early.
Rates of suicide for women are highest during the perimenopausal years; these are tragically shortened lives, considering women now live a third of their lives after menopause.
Recent research shows that women’s biology differs from men’s in many more ways than previously thought and these physical differences (such as different levels of estrogen, serotonin, cortisol and melatonin) are beginning to provide clues to why women are so much more susceptible to depression as well as a special type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder
Stress plays a major role in depression, and it may be that women and men respond to stress differently — while women are more likely to suffer from “emotional ailments” such as depression, anxiety attacks and eating disorders, men are much more likely to act out aggressively and abuse drugs and alcohol.
Women’s fluctuating hormone levels during menstrual cycles, after childbirth, and during menopause contribute to forms of depression unique to women including Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Postpartum Depression, and Perimenopausal Depression. The good news is that research is helping us to understand the biological factors for depression in women and identify ways to treat and prevent it. A woman may suffer from depression at any point during her life. Like depression in men, the underlying cause of depression in women is a combination of changes in brain chemistry, stress, trauma and genetics.
The major types of treatment for depression are the same for women and men. Women who have suffered sexual traumas (such as rape and incest) may want to work with a therapist who has training and expertise in this area.

In addition, a woman’s unique biology may predispose her to unique forms of depression not found in men.